Do you ever have days where you just feel off? No food seems to satisfy your cravings. Your throat is scratchy, and you feel like blinking just takes way too much energy. Clothes seems to fit too tightly around your thighs, and hang way too loose on your shoulders, so it seems like you are fighting your outfit all day long, gaining and losing ground, er, skin. Then you think that if you exercised more then the pants that are snuggling a little too close to your thighs might just calm down a bit. And that's when you see like twenty people running on the bike trail in the sweltering heat with their I-pods jangling and sweat trickling into the sides of their hair while you're going to the grocery store, probably to buy ice cream to make yourself feel better.
So you try to turn the radio on to block them out, but nothing is on. Every song that you once found obnoxious and will find obnoxious from this day forward is blaring like a fire alarm. And when music isn't blaring, car salesmen are. So you smack the radio off with a resounding slap that stings your finger. Smart you.
When you finally make it to the grocery store, you see two women walking out in dress suits and stiletto heels with their carts full of carrots and celery, and another in a pair of skinny jeans and golden flats, with bows on the tips. She's carrying a bag of soy milk and organic granola. You are wearing an old t-shirt with deodorant on the collar that nicked you this morning, tennis shoes, and those old jeans that are way too friendly with your thighs. Sigh.
You grab your cart and you manage to encounter at least five acquaintances, resulting in diving behind displays and down the pet food aisle so you don't have to talk to them. All of a sudden Kibbles 'n Bits have become extremely appetizing. Now you make it over to the dairy section, and after the latest encounters of health nuts and skinny jean girls, you can't bring yourself buy a gallon of ice cream.
Instead you buy like three gallons. Plus some cookies. And those little plastic containers that have chocolate covered nuts and cookie dough chucks. Yep. A banner day at the grocery store.
Maybe it's just the humidity.
3 comments:
This. This is why I just adore you, Julie! Cracks me up! Boy oh boy do I know how you feel. Except that I just feel my clothes are tight all over. And I usually throw in some chocolate pudding.
I'm glad to see you posting so much. Your writing is so refreshing. I know just how you feel because I feel like I'm there more often than not.
you are funny, so witty and real. i can very much identify with this post.
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